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How to make friends as an adult (a quick rundown)

How To Make Friends As An Adult (20+ Year Olds)

  • Accept being alone for long periods of time as an inexorable part of growing up and expanding your brain

  • Explore the benefits of solitude and befriend yourself

  • Begrudgingly accept small talk as a form of connection (we tend to go for feeling accepted over being honest)

  • Take the leap to attempt to make deeper connections by initiating insightful conversations (a complete stranger got me to open up and have a heart to heart about our dads having diabetes during a 15 minute conversation. An interaction i’ll never forget)

  • Accept that acquiring real connection takes time. Friends aren’t found, they’re crafted.

  • Typically 5-7 conversations/interactions, we become friends with the people we see most often. Proximity and repetition are key

  • Find a regular place for connection that you enjoy

  • Consider a pet

  • Family?

  • Embrace Introversion


  • It’s a part of growing up

  • Friends disappear with time because we begin to develop our own lives.

  • It comes with brain expansion

  • Being intelligent + sensitive makes us lonely because our society rules a majority of our thought processes and society does not encourage deeper thinking or meaningful interaction.

  • Inner work - Reflect and ask the deep questions. Why are you lonely? Is this a new feeling or has it existed most of your life?

  • “society that is big on connectivity yet often pulls up short on human connection"

That's all I got.

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